Following up on the proposed new GCSE courses, a colleague has written to suggest the following new course. Going back to basics a wee bit but none-the-less a surefire hit with the LSC, as it will bring in loads of much needed funding for colleges.

GCSE in Chimney Sweeping Technology. Covers the historical aspects of chimney sweeping. How to train and select small children (or tiny people) for the very purpose of climbing and cleaning sooty chimleys. (come on, all that ended some time ago Ed.) How to make useful trinkets out of soot, brush and bamboo selection and a special section written by Dick Van Dyke on rooftop dancing and communication skills. Learn how to say "cor, blimey guvnor, is that the time", in your best Americockney accent. The course links well to Key Skills in IT, Communication and Number. For example, instruct learners on how to bag and weigh soot and calculate the radius of a brush head. Learn how to communicate with rich and famous people and speak poshly prior to shinnying up the chimney for a few coppers (come on now Billy, that's enough now Ed.)

BBD :-)

Tomorrow (Tuesday 30th Aug) beckons a new term for all of us who work on planet FE (Hip Hooray!). I wonder what it will bring?
Another year of broken promises for FE by the Government?
More administrative red tape than you can shake a stick at?
More jobs and money for the waste-of-space LSC?
More inspections and quality reports for hard-working staff to put up with?
More honest hard-working staff leaving the sector to work at Tescos for more money and better prospects.
More meaningless appraisals thrice a year with your line manager that end up with no extra money - just extra work?
More attractive bonuses for the bean-counting staff of the LSC?
Higher exam pass rates (Well what else)
Lower salary increases than any other public-sector organisation.
Do you know our College have not offered staff a pay award this year and there are dozens more like ours. The pay differential between FE and schools / sixth forms has increased year on year since new Labour came to power in 1997. FE STAFF ARE NOW PAID 13% LESS THAN SCHOOLS
FE has been well and truly shat on by this poxy Government and the Tories since Incorporation in 1993.

But hey ho hum, lets go to work with a smile chums! Soon be Xmas.

BBD

Yes, we all knew it didn't we. They're er, up again.
One girl got 17 GCSEs with A*, a record.
Now come on credit where it's due folks, remember us teachers that helped get these results.

The worrying trend is GCSE modern languages which seem to be on a downward spiral recruitment wyse. As the dominant language of the commercial world and the Internet is English, one wonders where it will all end. Will everyone on the planet by 2050 really ALL speak English?
Good to see GCSE's in vocational subjects taking off. What we really need is more caterers, hairdressers, plumbers and motor mechanics rather than language specialists anyway, so fair play ti the awarding bodies, the schools and the pupils here.
I'm thinking of writing a new GCSE in ferreting, that will include how to look after your ferret, ferreting in a post-modern society, the economics of running your own ferreting business and ferreting as an Olympic sport for 2012. Pilot schools in Barnsley have been identified where ferreting is the main sport after fishing and welly-throwing. Available through the AQA in 2007.

BBD

More revelations from Edexcel today, the awarding winning exam body who have announced today that their administrative staff have been brought in to mark RE GCSE exam papers.
Come to think of it the GCSE exams are so simple anyone could mark them.

Example
Q1. Name one of the 10 Commandments.

Q2. Complete the following, Jesus was the son of Mary and -------

Q3. In the Old Testament, how long did it take God to make the earth?

Q4. Name one of Jesus's disciples (hint none of these were female)

Hey ho, expect more funny tales from Edexcel, OCR, and the rest this week as the GCSE results reach a 100% pass rate. God - they will be giving GCSE's away with petrol soon.

Billy

According to Private Eye's "Number Crunching" this week,

50% Drop in students taking A-levels in French or German in past 10 years.

96.2: pass rate in 2005.

Makes you think doesn't it.

One College Principal in todays press has stated that, "Suggestions that the (A-level) exams are being dumbed down are ridiculous".Yeah right pal, maybe not all the exams but is Media Studies that difficult a subject yeah?

Once again the A-level results have improved over the previous year. 97% of those taking an A-level will now end up passing the course.

The media always ridicule this figure which has improved year on year for the past 18 years. Credit is rarely given to the hard working teachers (and students) who struggle to achieve the standard year on year. Colleges are paid by results remember, and so there is a tempatation to coach students rather than teach to the syllabus to get them to achieve. In coaching, staff will work to past papers for a large proportion of the year setting examples in class, homework etc, based on these questions. Feedback is given on where the students need to improve, what they missed off etc.

By covering a large number of questions, and mapping what questions come up in either the January or June series for a four year period, staff can predict what type of question will come up. By analysing the examiners comments which are also published each year, a full picture can be seen of exactly what type of answers are required.

What's needed is a complete overhaul of the A-level system as recommended by Tomlinson recently in his report - in order to get back to teaching rather than coaching.

I've worked in a few FE colleges over the years and I have to say I love my job apart from two things.

1. Bureacratic timewasting Red-tape nonsense
2. Bad Managers

Some of the Managers in my college have been promoted well beyond their abilities and really only got the job because they were the internal candidate and the college executive management team of selectors thought this would be a safe bet. Most managers are untrained for the role, and are either bean-counting accountants, piss-poor communicators and crisis-management fire-fighters rather than offering strong leadership and supportive advice to staff, and people who can plan and think.

Put simply, you wouldnt trust most managers to run a whelk stall.

The decisions made are beyond compare and most colleagues are bewildered by some of the decisions made - usually after meetings have taken place that are not agenda'd. Managers who tell you one thing then do another when you are not in college for a day. Managers who tell other staff what they think of you and send notes to the Principal about you rather than meet to thresh out any problems.

The government should run a number of training courses for these people who most definately need it. On the agenda should be;

Listening to your staff
Communication skillsD
Problem solving
Thinking outside of the box
How to conduct a meeting
How to get some charisma

Any ideas on how to improve the managers at your college just let me know.

BBD

Much has been written in the past few years about A-levels. The Tomlinson report more or less recommended scrapping them but the then Education Secretary, Charles Clarke said they would stay.

What do you think aboout A-Levels?

Do we need them - if not what should replace them?

e0-Mail me your views!

Billy

As there are no text book punishments available in FE (the students are bigger than the staff mostly) it would be nice to hear from anyone about their methods of penalising students for any misdemeanours in class.

Tell us what works for you!

BBD