AQA confirmed today that a single-celled amoeba gained three A* GCSE passes in Biology, Double-award science and English Literature. The omoeba, from High Wycombe, declined our interview, but speaking to BBD through his agent said, " I'm over the moon, I'm now off to the local FE college to do ten A-levels." "It's me dream to go to university really and meet up with all my mates who work there in the labs."

A spokesperson for the Department for Education and Science, said that, "this is wonderful news for the xillions of young people in the omoeba community, who now have a chance of making it to university regardless of race colour, creed or sexual orientation. We will do all we can to support them financially in their quest for betterness, by, erm by charging them thousands of pounds to do just that."

BBD

XXX

99.99% Pass rate up on last year. That's fantastic isn't it.
The Principal rang me at home while I was in bed to congratulate me this very morning.
My OBE is in the post and I have tea with the Queen at the Palace is next week.

According to the BBC website, two six year old twins passed GCSE Statistics with a grade G.
I'd say they were tied on for a nice job in investment banking or running their own company like iSoft who have been in the headlines this week.

Ah, Bless

Love Billy

BBD
xxxx

Dear readers,

The news coming out of the Education department has been pretty non-existent these past few months with the war(s), global terrorism and suspected plane bombings taking centre stage. I had completely forgotten until someone reminded me we had a new head appointed earlier this year.

Can you remember who it is? Must say I really struggled with this one.

So - after five changes of Secretary of State for Education since new Labour shot to power in 97',
which of these people is currently occupying the hot seat?

Don't they make a lovely team? I personally think Sooty would do a brilliant Secretary of State.

BBD

xxx

Summer Special Competition

GCSE Results Special

In the hope that one day BillyBlogginsDonkey might make the blog column in the Daily Gruniad, prior to the GCSE results coming out on Thursday, I had a little thought today as I was sat sittin'.

How many GCSE's did this lot get not each...in total?

How the F++k did this lot get to be running the country I'll never know. And they call young kids today.

Answers on a postcard

I'm really well impressed by the number of readers of the BBD pages which in the heat of July clocked up 320 hits.
After starting off with only ONE reader in August 2005 BBD is now famous. I did heart part way through the year that the LSC were actively reading the site. Well fecking good - it's doing its job - I do hope the Leeches are not reading this during work time though!

Today, the 7th August, is BBD's first official Birthday. Hooray ! We have been posting for just a year so thanks to you all for reading and hope you have enjoyed the fun as much as I have.

I want our second year to have more impact with the aim of change in mind. I'm sick and tired of change in college, we get enough change all the time in FE, so I propose we give back a bit more to the people at the LSC, the DfES and the Government. Let's change them.

The ultimate change I want to see is the removal of 'President Blair' as he has well outstayed his welcome now and done bugger all for staff in FE. We are still the paupers in the education world.

So, if you want to put forward suggestions for action on here stories, lets have them at billyblogginsdonkey@yahoo.co.uk

I'll put them up so long as they are sound and not to drastic.

Happy Birthday chums, here's to 2006-07!

Cheers for the support

Love you lots,

Billy

xxx

It was 36 degrees C last week in the bunker that is our building.
Its a flat roomed 60s building that absorbs heat better than the space shuttles arse.
My head feels as hot as Arthur Browns bonce. yeh.....FIRE, da da da da daaaaaaaaah.

And guess what - the freakin central heating is on too! Energy conservation my arse. I have lost that much body weight in the past week I can wear Noel Edmonds cast offs.

No fans or air con, and the fecking windows - most of them are painted up. We have ONE window that opens but you can't open that because the sun comes through the window and the blinds need moving.

I'm off on holiday now for a week or three, so await my return for the end of August for enrolment and another term of fun with our chums the LSC (Load of Silly old Country types).

Ah well at least Blair the liar will be out on his arse soon - a day for rejoicing that will be.

Have a good summer chums

Lots of Love,
Billie

xxxxxxxxxx
BBD