AQA confirmed today that a single-celled amoeba gained three A* GCSE passes in Biology, Double-award science and English Literature. The omoeba, from High Wycombe, declined our interview, but speaking to BBD through his agent said, " I'm over the moon, I'm now off to the local FE college to do ten A-levels." "It's me dream to go to university really and meet up with all my mates who work there in the labs."
A spokesperson for the Department for Education and Science, said that, "this is wonderful news for the xillions of young people in the omoeba community, who now have a chance of making it to university regardless of race colour, creed or sexual orientation. We will do all we can to support them financially in their quest for betterness, by, erm by charging them thousands of pounds to do just that."
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