Billyblogginsdonkey would like to wish all its readers a happy Hogmanay for 2007. Don't forget to have ready in the hoose, a tot of malt whisky, some shortbread, a piece of silver, a pinch of salt, a black bun and a lump of coal ready for first footing.

Sean Connery, Patron Saint of Scots might just come round yours and give you a big surprise.

Fantabidozi,

Billy

BBD

xxx

Although the guy probably deserved it for crimes against his own people and the wars he initiated, should his end have been so widely covered on TV? Was it such a milestone? Would it not have been better to play this episode DOWN rather than glorify the career of a mass murderer and turn it into some sort of soap? Shocking, completely shocking all of it.

I woke up this morning and switched on the BBC. There was NO OTHER NEWS reported from anywhere else in the world other than the Saddam hanging, which had been expected for days. Juxtaposed were the regular jolly weather reporters telling us how crap the weather would be today. Then cut back to the anchor BBC reporters who were salivating at the prospect of some actual footage of the hanging arriving from an Arabian TV channel at any second. Poor that BBC, very poor of you indeed.

Even the BBC webshite has jacked up the font size on the Saddam story. Come on guys, stop making it out to be more than it is will you.

What's happened to the quality of the news on BBC TV? Why when you switch on the news do you have to be told the headline FIVE bleedin TIMES in 55 mins. First the headlines, the the story behind the headline, then the recap 15 mins in, then the summary at 6.25 before going to local news, then the final headlines at 6.55 after returning from local news and if you are really unlucky, if the main story you heard was about your region, you get it all over again in the local news. For fecks sake BBC, change the fecking record will you and start being more responsive reporters. Lets have more varied coverage and more reports, not long drawn-out sagas that the public lose interest in.

Please drop the Saddam story. It's a macho power thing all over again, showing the world again who wields the big stick in the middle east, that the USA and UK, can do exactly what they please, and the rest of you had better sit up and listen, cos if you don't youre next. I totally detest the whole fecking show in Iraq. Bliar and his sidekick loonatic Bush have so much to answer for.
It really is such a pathetic state of affairs.

Billy

BBD

xxx

The Bee Gees today announced their new line up for their forthcoming 2007 world tour.

Pictured here in snug-fit, ball crushing, white lycra is the bands new member, Tony Blair who wants to be known as TB-GB-GB. He is currently staying with Mr Robin BeeGee in his shed somewhere in a secret tax-free island location that is not being paid for by the taxpayer.

TB-GB-GB said that it was an an honour and an ideal opportunity to become a member of the greatest band the world had ever heard, and he was looking for something to do anyway. "Without any doubt, the Bee Gees have been the top British band over the past 65 years, and I can't wait to join them ", said TB-GB....(neither can we....Ed).

In supporting world peace, the tour kicks off in the Middle East in July with the first gig taking place in The Gaza Strip, followed by gigs in Beruit, Iran, Syria and Israel. Support band will be the Grateful Dead. The road show then moves on to Europe, providing any of them make it that far.

Billy

BBD

xxx

Song of the year for me.

So glad someone bought the album for me for Christmas.

Its so much like....

Not forgetting...

Love Billy

xxxx

RANT OF THE WEEK

It's sad to say but last night in a dream I saw the future and no, it wasn't Garlic Bread.
It was 365/24/7 24 hour shopping. It was a bad dream. Everybody had a shopping trolley surgically attached with bar-codes laser-printed onto your forehead instead of credit cards. People were running from shop to shop and using electronic zappers to move people out of the way. The streets and town centres were jammed solid as the UK became the shopping capital of the world. And then as the tenth person in as many minutes rammed their trolley up my arse, I woke up.

I don't hold with shopping that never ends personally but with money-grabbing stores like Tesco who turnover billions, there are other retailers, supermarkets etc that are bound to follow suit.

It's really sad that people can't get to the shops over 6 days out of seven during daylight hours, especially with internet shopping, home deliveries etc and three cars per house. Can't Sunday be a quiet day any more?

I'm cheesed off with it all. Here's hoping that retailers face some sort of tax for opening longer and making their staff work 50 hour weeks. Lets hope the trade unions keep a close watch on conditions of service in the retail trade.

Billy

BBD

xxx

Having recovered from yesterdays food n booze fest, todays the day when Gran and me watch the racing. We enjoyed Little Britain last night and the Vicar of Dibley. My Gran who's tee total apart from the odd pint of advocaat, loves the racing on Boxing and New Years day. She's 80-odd and still going strong. Normally the Telly has to be up at max however, but this year weve bought her some wireless headphones - should work hopefully.

Although Im not a fan of hunting, theres apparently going to be loads of them breaking the law again this afternoon, so here's to Mr Fox being his cunning best and giving all and sundry the slip.

Keep safe Foxy. I know they can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but does anyone deservce to be ripped to pieces while alive?

(ooooh a bit political this morning Billy...Ed)

Billy

BBD

xxx

A bit of a sad start to Christmas Day on hearing the news The GodFather of Soul, Mr James Brown has passed on. I loved his sheer energy on stage, he was agreat dancer, and belted songs out with feeling.

Just had to find this - The Rev James Brown in The Blues Brothers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjaIO2oXwg0

Will miss you JB. Rock em in Heaven baby.

It's been a good morning in the Bloggins household, presents opened, kids happy, turkey in the oven, sprouts on. Bit dull and grey here - doesnt seem like a Monday at all.

Love to you all in BlogLand. Enjoy the day.

Billy

xxx

BBD

Well its Christmas eve at long last. Few good progs on the telly and an early night I think.

Van Helsing looks promising. Hugh Jackman at his moody best I think with the occasional flick over to Channel 4 for the 1 millionth best movies of the last trillion years.

Mad out on the roads today, went family visiting and was glad to get back home to the homestead.

heres to tomorrow and have a JD and Horlicks on me.

Love

Billy

xxx

Mission accomplished at the shops today. Queued up like a good girl, didnt get stressed at all, then home and Star Trek 1 on TV, then sleep.

Just woken up and its telly time. Strictly Come Dancing the finale on TV tonight. Don't care who wins it, it's just so nice to remenisce about how telly used to be years ago.

LOVE

Billy

xx

Briefing to all forces

Synchronise watches. It is now 20.30 hours
Shopping will commence at 0630 hours with a helicopter descent onto the roof of Marks and Spencer, High St, Motherwell.
Bravo team will abseil down to the front and blast through the front windows with plastic explosive, followed by thunderflashes and stun grenades. That should clear the building of any nosey-parker, little old lady terrorist types out with any shoulder-launched shopping trolleys. Take care here boys. These fecking things are lethal. These new Burberry chav-type trolleys. Anti-personnel devices in disguise, cut you off at the ankles anytime.

Objective 1. Take out the checkout. After initially taking and holding the veg section, you will proceed to the checkout area and will hold until relieved at 0700 when Alpha team will arrive with their trolley. Bravo team will provide covering fire while Alpha team make well their escape with the goods up the ropes, back to the chopper.

Any questions?

No, right, get your lists and Big Shoppers then. Were going in.

Isn't Christmas food shopping enjoyable two days before the event.
Enjoy. What time does Wetherspoons open again...?

BBD

xxx

That's it, end of college term, well earned holiday, feet up and lots of telly, Hogmanay, Celtic v Rangers sectarian violence, pub brawls, booze and a bit of turkey. Well, I can always diet next year.
Family Favourites once ran a top 5 new year resolutions. No 1 with 57% was to....lose weight. Yeah, right. Never happens does it, no you can't not when there is....temptation at every corner.

Submitted to temptation. A half pack of chocolate digestives...gone. There's something strangely comforting about milk chocolate digestives. Something alluring and strangely sexually erotic I find.

Like this woman here, I like to lick mine.
How do you treat your MCD?

Billy

BBD

xxx

The BBC website today has an article on new jobseeker Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, soon to be homeless of this parish and also jobbieless with a young family and an expensive wife to support.

BBD is launching an appeal today to help our Tone, find a wee jobbie and somewhere to live. As it's Christmas and the season of goodwill to all, lets try and forget all his failings and help him out for the sake of the kids. It would be nice if you could give generously. Or, if you have any odd jobs that need doing around your place, give him a ring. He has a couple of business cards where you can contact him - see below.

Please send all donations to Lord Levy, Cell Block Tango, C/O Wormwood Scrubs, London.

Billy

BBD

xxx

And a happy foggy, frosty start isn't it?
Back up to two sweatshirts and two tee shirts today and Timberland boots with thick sox.

A Football bung

Football has always seemed a bit sleazy to me. Gate numbers for attendance for example have to be declared for the tax, but really are they that accurate? Footballer salaries - for 90 mins work a week - come on lads, youre having a laugh!

One interesting story is the FBI have released tape recordings of John Lennon.

Worth a Read - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6195929.stm

Lennon was under surveillance for a number of years in the late 60s and 70s for his anti-vietnam war campaings and was almost kicked out of the US by Nixon for them. Nixon sure brings back memories. God how corrupt was he? "There will be no whitewash in the Whitehouse" he said.
Lennon would have been into blogging if he'd have been around I'm sure. Must put kettle on and sign in. Thie chief wants to know how many people are around in college today.

See you soon

Billy

BBD

xxx

Some of the best bits of the year

On the telly
Prime Suspect
The Royle Family
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Music
Take That comeback for good and storm to Number 1.

Political Quotes"Let Sunshine win the day."....(yuk) David Camerons homage to Eric and Ernie, and for telling us that we should, "hug a hoodie."
"Can I be your cat?"........George Galloway in a pink lycra catsuit licking Rula Lenska's...in Celebrity Big Brother.

Blairs annoucement that he is to leave office before August 2007...(Yipee)
Prescott's affair with his Secretary....ha ha ha ha.
George Bush's trouncing at the November mid-term elections.

If there are any other events you think made an impact in 2006, lets have them!

Billy

BBD

xxx

Todays papers are awash with stories that at some stage have had the involvement of our beloved commander-in-chief, Tony Blair.
As he is departing soon, BBD would like to wish him a happy Christmas and thank him kindly for,

The dodgy passports affair for the Hiduja brothers.
The Cash for Peerages scandal and being the first Prime Minister on record to be "interviewed by the Police."
Sending soldiers into battle without the proper equiment where some of them were sadly killed.
Invading Iraq, a soverign state, on the basis of the dodgy dossier and Weapons of Mass Destruction that had the ability to be deployed in 45 minutes.
Being George W Bush's lap dog and all round gopher.
Expanding the City Academies scheme before they were fully piloted.
Not knowing how many people were seeking asylum in Britain.
Massively overcrowding our prisons and releasing criminals back into society unchecked.
Bringing back Nuclear power stations and Trident submarines that no one wants.
Allowing the Leeching Skills Council to carry on their paper-shuffling and bean-counting
Spending more time out of the UK on visits to the USA, Cliff Richards Villa, Berlusconi's place etc...
Closing hundreds of A and E units, special baby care and acute emergency wards in hospitals so dodgy Trust managers can balance their books
Overseeing the cost of house prices rise with nothing done about the massive increases.
Closing 4000 post offices in the UK.

Thanks Tony we won't forget you and a Merry Christmas.

BBD

XXX

Very good article in today's Guardian about the Leeching Skills Council which is referred to as the "Fattest Quango in Britian - yet inside there's a thin one trying to get out!"

Alan Johnson - (yawn, not again Billy, what the feck has he fecked up now....Ed) was apparently asked by David Willetts, Shadow Education Secretary and all round David Cameron clone (except in looks) about the numbers of staff the LSC employ going back to 2001.

Good question David. In fact a brilliant question mate.

A report apparently outlines that

2002 LSC Staff = 4694 (equal to 10 medium sized colleges)
2004 LSC Staff = 4797 (again about 10 colleges or 5000 lecturers jobs)

They were told to slim down their staff in 2005 and by this summer (2006) it should have shed 1300 jobs, a third of its penpushing, bean-counters who basically do feck all.

2006 Autumn 4451 still employed by the LSC.

So someone isn't telling us the whole story here. The LSC have lost a small amount of jobs and still employ 10 colleges worth of paper-shufflers and bean counters. This is a disgrace.

I'd really love to know what these 4451 people do all day. They send us lots of glossy publications bascially telling what we already know. The LSC pay ridiculously high salaries to administrators who basically know little about education and have never taught in their lives. They get lavish resources, conditions of service, bonus payments which teachers have never had. The Guardian report today confirms that those facing redundancy get a years salary as recompense. The AOC then say that staff in colleges would never get this arrangement.

The LSC are a waste of space, contribute nothing to improving the nations skills levels, they are expensive, inefficient and have not pruned any dead wood at all.

Poor old Postman Pat Alan Johnson is such a mug, he just can't see it.

Billy

BBD

xxx

According to the National Audit Office, the Department for Education is failing in 12 out of 14 areas and today is branded "UNFIT FOR PURPOSE."
What an absolute shambles this Government really is.
In almost every area of its work, the DFES is a walking disaster and is on record as being the WORST DEPARTMENT IN WHITEHALL.

Leadership and Management - having a laugh
Skills for Life programme - Inadequate.University targets for Universities - UnreliableGCSE grading - needs strengthening.
Childhood obesity education - too early to tell whether its had any effect. (basically down to Jamie Olivers intervention this one)
Overall quality of programmes - pitiful

Alan Johnson's End of term report
So 2 / 14 Mr Johnson. Failed in English, Maths, Science, PE, Woodwork, you're not very good at anything are you? Not a very good report is it sonny? Youv'e basically failed on everything you thick little sod. You were spending too much time larking about in class were you not? Too much time off on business lunches and visits around the world looking at other education "exemplars" and then doing nothing about them when you came back.

Youv'e also been slammed for employing too many CON-SULTANTS in the Auditors report....remember I told you about this before.
I will be awaiting your next report with interest. Now get out of my office you thick little sod and close the door quietly behind you.

You just can't get the staff these days can you. We would be better off with The Chuckle Brothers running the Country...To me...To you...

Billy

BBD

xxx

RANT OF THE WEEK

So far this year some 600,000 fewer adults have taken a class in Further and Adult Education than in 2005-06. Divide that by 15 and that's 40,000 classes across the country or about 10 colleges full of students - closed, gone. This has gained little or no attention in the news.
A staggering amount.

Classes that the Government call Leisure have seen price hikes this year upwards of 15% on average, (25% in some colleges Iv'e heard) which has led to adults dropping evening classes in their thousands. Teachers sacked, who will never return. The price increases were borne out of the LSC - the mother of all Quangoes and blood-sucking bastards, who determine now what colleges should and shouldnt offer from their ivory towers.

This trend will continue next year as the Government plan to make adults fund HALF the fee for classes that the LSC won't fund. The classes being closed include qualification based classes in addition to the leisure programmes, so it's not just the Pottery, flower arranging and bakery classes. Classes in Information technology (CLAIT, ECDL, ECDL ADV, NVQ IT), Science Classes, Maths, ESOL, English, and vocational subjects, GCSEs, A-levels have all been shut as they have failed to recruit minimum numbers needed because of the fee increases and the low numbers attracted.

At one stage courses were given free to some groups such as those over 65. This is no longer the case in many areas as councils cannot afford to subsise college programmes any more. As such Education for adults has become a middle-class luxury.

BBD agrees partly that education shouldnt be seen as 'free' for life, and people should have to pay something towards their classes, but a half is ridiculous and it won't stop there. The classes that people come into college for like painting, Yoga, cookery, DIY, often lead people into other subjects and at the same time they can pick up useful literacy and numeracy skills for FREE. For many it's the only way back to learning. For many English Second Language students have found their classes and departments suddlenly closed over this summer leaving them with no where to improve their language skills and fit into society as Blair now wants.

The government is putting all the emphasis into schools. Good logic. Quite - rightly, billions and billions of pounds, PFI money etc. But t